First date, we went to Kino Cafe, that place up Cambie where they have flamenco dancing. I took a girl there once on a first date and we ended up kissing that night AND MORE. But you'll have to buy the next book in the series to find out what deviant sex we got up to because this one is strictly PGmuthafuckin13. Anyway, I love her pseudonym, Paloma, although it kind of reminds me of Papilloma. If she were my baby I'd call her my little virus. Maybe. We met there, I told her I'd be the guy who looks like he could use a haircut and she said she'd definitely never find me then because it is a rule that all guys look like they need a haircut. She's funny, nice.

She definitely has baby potential (by which I mean she could be my baby, not bear me babies. Although I guess they're kind of one in the same considering which market I'm in. Good lord, note to my eventual kids here: See, I love you before you even arrived. So listen to your father and do [whatever thing I'm trying to get you to do] RIGHT NOW! No, but for real, I love you. And remember kids, all the parts of this book that make Daddy look like an asshole or a lecherous weirdo are fictional).

Paloma was biggish too, zaftig if you will, corporeally robust if you won't. And gorgeous. Tall, short reddish hair, spatter of well-spaced freckles, cute smile, broad shoulders and broad ass. So we sit down (I'd made reservations, BLAM!) at a little corner table and order food and drinks. There's some banter about this and that, what do you like, I like your shirt, nice place, good food.